kolehiyala kuno

mood: *patience...*
hello, blog. tagal na naman akong hindi nakapag-update. kekekeke.
school kasi eh. langya. SCHOOL parin ang tawag. nyehe. WAAAAAK. wala lang. gusto ko magwala. gusto ko talaga magwala. pero feeling ko delikado na ang blog ko.
meron nang certain connections.

i have lost my sanctuary.

haaaay naku. andami ko pa namang gustong/kailangang ipagsigawan sa INTARWEBS...kaya lang..kekeke. delikado. hindi pwedeng malaman ng parents. delikado. kekeke.

so. ANO NA NGA BA ANG NANGYARI KAY NADINE/DIDZ/ANGEL/EIJII?!!! (langya, ang dami kong pangalan.)
eto, busy sa school..plates plates plates.
eto, inlab parin kay SungMin..palala na nang palala. (will elaborate later)
eto, naga-apply sa UP AME...keke. scary.
eto, namumulubi.
eto...buhay parin. tsk. (mahaba-habang entry ititch...)

oo! todo SungMin parin...i lurve him more than ever <3 pramis, malabo na ako. kekeke. kapag nagkaron ng girlfriend 'tong si oppa, guguho ang mundo ko...kekeke. at alam naman natin kung ano ang nangyayari kapag gumuguho ang mundo ko.
we've been there. we've seen that. we dun wanna go baaaack.
actually~! salamat sa SJPhilippines.tk nakahanap ako ng way para panoorin yung ChunJi radio nya!!! LIVE!!! XDDD WAAAHHHHHH...i ♥ teh INTARWEBS..so..yun, medyo nakakaubos ng oras, kekeke. pero still, i looooove him so. it's more than just a fandom. :[ im such a loser. im in love with a pop idol...IM A LOSER!!! XDDD putek.
but he's so adooooraaaable...

kekeke. UP AME...the application scares me. XD buti na lang maraming mababait na peoples :3 (kung may AME people, co-apps and members na maligaw sa blog ko, HELLO PO~ <3) kekeke.
umm...hi, kuya "buddy". :D gudlak na lang satin. lol.

ay...i miss a lot of people. :[ mmmm...marami akong mga hinahanap-hanap...
Kaye: uu nga. may utang tayong cake sa isa't isa....kekeke.

Lishey: i miss you too, lovey...sorry hindi na ko nakakadalaw..super busy kasi eh..pramis dadalaw ako kapag may oras.. = 3 = alabshuuuuu <333

Nikshae: BRUJA. hindi ka nagte-text, hindi ka tumatawag, hindi mo sinasagot tawag ko, at huling beses na kinausap mo ako ay para magpasabi sa mom mo na kailangan nyo magupsap?! i smell something FISHY...and it's NOT DongHae. nyuuurrrr....impakta ka talaga, miss na kitaaaa. anu nangyari sayuuuu...takte, magsesend nga ng note sa DA, wala namang laman. impaktaaaaaa.

Ma'am Rox: maaaaaaaam rooooooox..waaah..may utang pa ko senyo na drawing..huhuhu..sorry poooo > x <;; someday po, maam, pramis. bago mag-2008..kekeke. sorry po!

kekeke..may sasabihin pa ba ako? magpapaulan na lang ako ng SungMin-ness...gusto ko sana maglagay ng drawings kaya lang...may mailalagay ba ako?! kekekeke. di bale, kapag nakapag-drawing at nakapag-scan na ako, maglalagay rin ako dito...kahit nasa DA ko na, ita-thumb ko parin dito. para maging makulay kahit papaano ang aking malungkot at madilim na blog. *boba kasi sa CSS ehh.*.

SUNGMIN AND FOOD...

(kunyari KALABASA si RyeoWook...anu kaya lasa nun..YAAAAK. xet.)

(HOLY KAMOTE. hanapin nyo ang kamay ni RyeoWook...BAKIT YAN NANDYAN?! BAKEEET?! BITAWAN MO SI SUNGMIN!!! XDDD takteng kamay yan..) anyway...

SUNGMIN BEING EMO...

(but WHYYY does it make me smile?!)

(aaaawww...gusto kong burahin yung kung ano mang nakasulat..tssss. anu yun? EUDIPOA?! wth...*stabstab*)

PRINCESS SUNGMIN...

(uhh...promotional pic to para sa movie nila *which will come out in about a week, btw. WAH..i wanna be in KOREA..* oh my gulay...sweetie, anung ginawa nila sayo? you're all pink and fluffy...wth?! pero cute yung SungMin doll..Dream of Doll ba yan? iwantit..iwantit...iwantHIM.)

<3...

i love this pic of him :3 see, he's dreaming..about ME. lol, what?! kekeke. waaaahh...sweet smile makes my heart melt...oppaaaaa saranghaaaeeee <3 kyoptaaaaaa XDDD kekekeke.

99 truths

(found this in someone's journal in DA...trip lang...my blog's been kinda empty anyway, so..why not.)
1. real name: Nadine. (not saying anything else.)

2. like it: my actual real name? not really.

3. single or taken: mm..haha. lol. single.

4. zodiac sign: taurus

5. male or female: confusing question...female is my default setting

6. elementary: UPIS

7. middle: haha. are you kidding me?

8.high school: UPIS

9. eye color: brown

10. hair color: dark brown...and green.

11. long or short: both! mostly short.

15. are you a health freak: haha. no.

16. height: 5'3"-ish

17. do you have a crush on someone: HELL YES

18. do you like yourself?: no.

19. piercings: 4...two in each ear

20. tattoos: does henna count? haha, no.

21. righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :

22. first surgery: never.

23. first piercing: ears

24. first best friend: Kaye?

25. first award: most creative? i dunno.

26. first sport: gymnastics..LOL.

27. first pet: mouse..Bubblegum!

28. first vacation: Bicol

29. first concert: school concert (UPIS week 2003)

30. first crush: uhh...haha.

CURRENTLY:

49. eating: nothing (shows you empty mouth)

50. drinking: last thing i had was tea.

52. i'm about to: chat. yay TP.

53. listening to: Haengbok- Super Junior <3

55. waiting: Super Junior movie! <3 <3

FUTURE :

58. want kids?: no.

59. want to get married?: no.

60. careers in mind?: artist :3

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

68. lips or eyes?: eyes!!!

69. hugs or kisses: hugs..<3

70. shorter or taller: taller..

71. tan skinned or light: mm..i'd say light? but doesnt really matter.

72. romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous :3

73. dark or light hair: somewhere in between? XD

74. athletic or normal: doesnt matter..i'd like to see talent though. squeee.

75. hook-up or relationship: relationship...:3

76. similar to you or different: in what way? o . O

77. trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker >:3

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. kissed a stranger: no...

79. drank bubbles: what?

80. lost glasses/contacts: sunglasses...

83. climbed up a tree: yes :3

84. broken someone's heart: not sure..haha.

85. been arrested: liek...NO.

86. turned someone down: yes. without hesitation.

87. cried when someone died: yup.

88. liked a friend as more than a friend: not sure...i might be in denial.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. yourself: do i exist? XD no.

90. miracles: not really.

91. love at first sight: no..

93. Santa clause: haha. no.

94. Sex on the first date: no.

95. Kissing on the first date: no.

96. Angels: mmm...sort of.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now? yes...in more ways than one.

98. Who is it? if you mean "be with" literally, my friends...if you mean "be with.." then...SungMin! lol.

99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? girlfriends..yes..hahaha. not seriously though..doihh.


and just for the hell of it, a SungMin! <3
because im so dangerously infatuated...

news from beyond

hello, blog..it's been a while, hasnt it? :3

yes, it has been a while..do tell, dear master, to what do i owe this visit? do tell.

such a hostile host indeed. is it wrong for one to miss her sanctuary?

oh my, feeling rather gloomy again, are we?

no, not at all..i've been much too busy to feel gloomy. too busy to feel much of anything actually...i was just looking for something..something i've been missing...

memories, perhaps? a place to crawl into? a pit to bury your burdens in?

no, no..it seems..i've been missing..myself..

♥♥♥
okay. change of plan...im too annoyed to write anything decent today...i was supposed to make a decent entry but..yeah, shit happens. right now, im really REALLY HATING HOME.
there're just some times when i feel like i've been spending too much time here and it gets really annoying. sometimes i envy the people who get to go away for college. they might not realize how lucky they are that they get a chance to miss home. PLEASE, PEOPLE, ILAYO NYO KO SA BAHAY KO.
no, really...you know how they say you wont realize just how special something is until it's taken away from you? i need to feel that. i need to feel like i want to be home, and lately, ive been seeing too much of home, and spending too much time with the people here. hate hate hate.
its just so annoying...i'll somehow be glad to go back to school tomorrow..
aish..whatever. too lazy.

tsk. such a waste. i really loved the intro i wrote. talking to myself again.
so schizo.
so me.

my heart moves my hands

these're drawings i did over the past few days, whenever i think of the things i've been going through..(read my previous entry..) and..nah, nevermind..i wont go into much details anymore, i'll just let the pictures do the talking..
(you can click the thumb for a bigger image)


to all the people i miss...
♥♥♥

to the ones who gave me light...
♥♥♥

to the ones i share the same skies with...
♥♥♥

and to everything i regret not having payed enough attention to..

oh..and to change the mood a bit, one of the earlier pieces of this (yet to be named) series:

(this was made for some sort of campaign going around DA, though i've yet to post it there)

*please take note, i know this character looks somewhat like the ones on Azuzephre.net but i swear, i've been drawing and developing the character before i discovered Azu-sama's works...though i must admit, i get a lot of inspiration from him...*

dedicated to Kaye, Lishey. Nixxie, UPIS, and everything else i hold dear...
langya, ang emo ko ngayun ah...no sungmin pics for today, but i'll post some up soon! XDDD

oh the drama~

i have so much i want to say...and i have no idea where to begin...
so i'll just make this up as i go along..

i feel like so much is being taken away from me...

like it's only now that i've begun to realize that everything i've been holding on to so dearly...none of it was given to me...it was all merely lent to me..and though i know that at the momet, they're only being forced out of my grasp temporarily, i dont seem to have it in me to give them up without a fight..
let's try this with chapters, shall we?

Kaye
...im really sorry...we've been rather distant these past few months, and i realize im mostly responsible for it...ours seems to be the friendship that doesnt need for us to be constantly talking to each other...we've been friends for so long, and i notice that we were closest during grade 8 and 9...when we werent in the same class...and we'd only spend little time with each other...but those short 'meetings' were never quiet..we'd always have stories to share and all that...but when we're in the same class...dont you think we seem to have less to talk about? there're all these..lulls...moments when we'd just walk with nothing to say...i have no idea what im trying to say here...but one thing im sure i want to get across...im sorry 'bout the distance, and my absence, and my apparent lack of interest...i'd hate to think we're growing apart, and im pretty sure we're not, but i just want to make sure we're okay...:\
you know im still just around there somewhere, a text or im away, and that will never change~

High School
i've already visited highschool TWICE since classes started this year. :| pathetic? yea, im aware of that. i seem to be in denial of the fact that IM NO LONGER A PART OF UPIS...im part of the UPIS alumni, but i really dont have much business going there so often now do i? even though i know *some people* are going to kill me if i dont visit, the little part of me that's no longer in denial keeps reminding me that i really dont have a right to keep going back...pretty soon, i'm going to be piled up with plates and homework and stuff, and its highly unlikely that i'd still have a lot of time to go visit upis...and that's just sad..


it was lying there, listening to the music we share, that i realized why being a fangirl made me so happy...
it was because it brought me so much closer to Nix and Rin...
and i swear to god, I'd choose you guys over SungMin on any day.

Nixxie
impaktita ka, hindi kita papaalisin nang masaya!! you will regret each and every moment you ignored a teacher's lecture!!! *cue: evil laughter* it's undeniable, your influence on me. but it's neither good nor bad...it simply is. so, like everything you do, this TEMPORARY little 'parting' of ours will undoubtedly have an effect..long term and short term...unfortunately, the short term effects are horribly, horribly depressing. :|
see, i just dont get it. you'll be back every weekend, you have internet access where yoiu're going, we have cellphones ,and yet, here we are, being all emo about it. why, nikki, WHY?!
impakta!!! :\ i really dont have much to say to you right now..XDDD kausap naman kita sa ym eh.
just that even though i dont believe your "picture w/ suju" plan will actually come true, you have no idea how happy it makes me that you plot such diabolical things..
and i will always love you guys more than SungMin...LOL.

i'm too lazy to write anything else. :|

manong, candy?

it's funny, watching how people react when you try being nice to them..hehe..
weeee~ happy happy day today~ XD
ukie~ so...anu ang nangyari...
mga 10:20, pumunta kami ni Nixxie sa SM North...trip lang~ tapos pumunta kami sa Trinoma..kase mas malamig dun..hehe..tsaka mas konti ang tao..nag-ikot ikot kami, naligaw, nag-TimeZone, etc. etc...tapos nung lunch, sa Jollibee kami kumain..hehe, aliw, may sofa sa jollibee sa trinoma..haha. ayun...nagda-"drugs" nga kami habang lunch eh (take note: "drugs" meaning korean music..hehe...yun ang tawag namin dun eh) tapos medyo tinititigan kami ng mga tao kase may sarili kaming music..XD
ayun..dun nagsimula ang kalokohan ng candy...
dinare ko si Nix na alukin ng candy yung crew ng jollibee..kaya lang ndi tinanggap..andami naming inaluk!! (mas marami ako...4 lang ata tinanong ni nicole eh, naka 8 ata ako) crew, cashier, guard, etc...trip lang...at the end of the day, yung babae lang sa counter sa McDo sa SM North ang kumuha ng candy...tatlo pa nga kinuha nya eh!! XD

saya...hehe..<3>NAGPABUTAS NG TENGA...hehe..la lang..ndi naman pala ganun ka-sakit...nakakagulat lang..hehe..kaya lang, mahal!! huhuhu...wala na kong pera..nagpa-picture rin pala kami~ ayun..yung nasa taas..pichur namin..heehee.
tapos nanuod kami ng Shrek the Third...aliw..XDDD
natawa kaming tatlo nung ginawa ni Puss in Boots yung googly eyes...ang lakas nung pagkakasabi naming tatlo ng "HeeChul!!!!" XDDD addicted fangirls amfufu! hehe...di bale, masaya naman eh. ba't ba.

andami rin naming kalokohan dun sa Mitsubishi (kung san kami nagpapicture) basta...buti nga hindi kita sa picture yung mga tenga namin na namumula eh! XD

wah..aliw..syet, mamimiss ko yung mga kalokohan naming ganito....
MASAYA MAGING FANGIRL.
lovey lovey lovey...i'm so happy lately...hehe..i dont know how long this will last, i dont even know if i want it to last long or not...all i know is that i dont remember ever being happier than how i am now...and that sooner or later, i'd most likely get hurt again...tssss....i dont want to worry about that at the moment...i wanna savour the love~ even though it's one sided...

dont get me wrong, i dunno what i'd give up for this not to be one-sided, but for the time being, im contented with my current situation...the smiling, and the dreaming...and the memories Rin, Nix and I share as fangirls..hehe..
XD i sound so dramatic, it's creeping me out...hahahaha.

wah...pino-problema ko ngayun 'tong DVD na bigay ni Nix eh..huhuhu...ayaw magplay ng mga SuJu videos..buti na lang madadala ko yung iba sa mp3 player ko...
thanks anyway Nixxie <3>

i feel so happy...

♥ so happy ♥

i almost died..again.

i wanna correct something about my last entry... ^^;
the title of the song i was listening to is Special Someone, not someone special....haha...that always confuses me...anyway~

WAKE UP!!!

gawd..i almost died again?! hahaha. this one is kinda different though...
two months ago, i almost got hit by a car, then, again a few weeks after that....
two days ago, i was choking on tea....but this morning...
i fell off my bed. HAH. lol.

uhm..did i mention my bed is raised 5 feet above the ground?!
XD hehe..yeh..(it's like a double decker, except that instead of another bed, i have a computer table, a drawing table, two shelves, and bunch of other stuff underneath.)

anyway....YEAH...i think it was around 8 or 7:30....i was half-asleep, and i accedentally leaned against the railing which has been kinda wobbly for ages now...i remember hearing the wooden railing coming off, and i just kinda rolled right off my bed..it was really weird...i rolled off my bed and made a complete turn, so when i landed, i was facing the same way i did when i was up in my bed...
and you know what else is weird?
i landed on my feet...
O . o;; maybe it just wasnt my time yet. XD

if i had been completely asleep at the time, i could've died...
i would've been unconscious when the railing came off (which still had the nails on it) and i could've landed on the railing and stabbed myself...
OR, my head could've hit the scanner which was sitting on the shelf beside my bed, i couldve broken my neck there or something...XDDD

but im alive...XDDD
no injuries or anything (except that my ankle kinda hurts because of my landing)
i'm still a bit shaken though...
i was thinking about sleeping on the floor tonight, instead of on my bed...but my dad fixed the railing up again, this time using SCREWS and not nails. it's not wobbly anymore too.

XD i still find it pretty funny that i landed on my feet...weird...
maybe i am part-cat. HAHAHA.

Nixxie says SungMinnie oppa caught me and put me down again...
HAH. I WISH!!!

those two cuties are (left) Lee Sung Min and (right) Kang In (real name is Kim Young Oon) and they are members of the korean all-boy group called Super Junior~
arent they lovely~ ♥♥♥
♥ SUNG MIN IS MINE. ♥

the fangirl returns..updates!

okay, get ready for a rather looooong entry...
i think i can break it down to 4 main points..

• first off, i kinda lost my password weeks ago, which is why i havent posted since then...
i just got it back a while ago.

• next...my pc has been really bitchy lately...sometimes it's okay for a while but then starts acting up again, usually after someone plays a couple rounds of Diablo...litse ka. i'll get it reformatted when my brother's not busy anymore...

• my parents want to go to Bicol...*sigh* at the start of the summer vacation, i really, really wanted to go...but now that i only have a few weeks left, i dont want to waste any of it there....i want to spend my summer in front of my pc, dammit!!! gaaaaah...apparently, we'll leave on thursday..or friday...and come back at the end of the month...hello? like..wtf, WHAT ABOUT TEH INTERWEBS?! I NEED TEH INTERWEBS!!!

• im an obsessed fangirl...and it's starting to reach dangerous stage...

♥ okay. if nothing of the above interests you, you can stop reading now, because i'll just be explaining the points from this point on, mmkay? ♥

right. where were we?
ah yes...the password thing...the whole google account thing kinda annoys me...it makes things so damn complicated...yeech. need i say more?
ugh..my pc!!!! darn it. every other night, someone nags me to go to sleep so he can use my computer. i swear, sometimes my pc runs so smoothly and then, after he uses it, it starts acting up again!! MY COMPUTER IS NOT FOR GAMING. the computers in this house have certain purposes. my mom's laptop is mostly for her work stuff. my brother's pc is for his downloads and games. and MY PC IS FOR EDITING. you hear me?! i dont even know why all those games are installed here...takte talaga. imagine being told "dali na, matulog ka na, para makapaglaro ako!" by someone you're not even related to.
do0d, sorry a, pero nakakainis talaga eh. you can stay in the house as long as you like, sige, ayus lang, im kinda used to having you around the house anyway. BUT DRIVING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE IS A TICKET TO HELL. you're lucky my parents and brothers like you.

okay..that was really mean... > . >
really really mean...sorry..but..yeah. kailangan maglabas ng galit somewhere...
half of me wishes he'd read this..the other half wishes he'd just get off my case. lol.

and about that vacation thing...i know my dad really wants to go home. i know my mom really wants to go to the beach and i understand that...im not saying i dont want to go...im just saying i wont like it.
T . T it's not that difficult to understand, isnt it? mid june, i start going to college...and my friends will be in LB and all over the place and we'd all be out of contact and busy with schoolwork and all that...it's going to be so different...being underneath my bed and in front of my pc is the situation i cling on to so that i feel as if everything is going to be okay and normal and not different...i know im going to have to accept the changes sooner or later but..it's my comfort zone...Nixxie and Rin-chan and i were planning on a part 2 as well...but now that i have to leave for a week, that's gonna be kinda difficult...especially because after summer vacation, Rin will be focusing on her studies and Nix will be in LB...even Kaye will be in LB!! and im going to be all sad and busy here at home...and..and..i need my SungMin oppa!!! *cries* (omg that was...wrong....XD)
im not really in the mood to explain all that....

finally...i'm a fangirl...i've been like this for..probably about a month now...it's..wonderful...lol...
i'm...uhh...dare i say it? in love?! LOL. it's really scaring me though..like, really really scary...D: i'm always thinking about HIM...it's always HIM in my head...none of his bandmates, not even anyone from the other band, just HIM...
SungMinnie oppa~
this whole fangirl thing really hit me hard...but i dont think i've ever been happier...it feels so nice to daydream about the day we'll meet...but then..there's that lingering thought at the back of my head nagging me that it's never going to happen....i'd like to tell myself that "it might." but we all know it's impossible..it's NOT near impossible...IT IS impossible...so why do i even get my hopes up? because it feels great, i guess...even though i dont drink alcohol, i think this fandom is like getting drunk...you feel so light and all that, like you're on top of the world...but you start throwing up and you fall unconscious and your head hurts like hell...then you have to move on....
so tell me this, why on earth am i putting myself through this knowing that i'll just throw it all way eventually?
why? and dont tell me that it's because love just really is like that, because this is different. I'm in love with a korean popstar?! and so are thousands of other asian girls..possibly even non-asian girls..i dont care why they're putting themselves up to this slow torture, but why am I doing it? arent i supposed to be smarter than this?
am i that desperate about distracting myself from the world that im willing to put myself through something that'll bring me nothing in the end?
and while im typing this, i'm listening to his voice singing...laugh all you want, but it melts my heart...it does.
(Someone Special - SungMin, Lina, Dana)

what on earth is wrong with me...