kolehiyala kuno

mood: *patience...*
hello, blog. tagal na naman akong hindi nakapag-update. kekekeke.
school kasi eh. langya. SCHOOL parin ang tawag. nyehe. WAAAAAK. wala lang. gusto ko magwala. gusto ko talaga magwala. pero feeling ko delikado na ang blog ko.
meron nang certain connections.

i have lost my sanctuary.

haaaay naku. andami ko pa namang gustong/kailangang ipagsigawan sa INTARWEBS...kaya lang..kekeke. delikado. hindi pwedeng malaman ng parents. delikado. kekeke.

so. ANO NA NGA BA ANG NANGYARI KAY NADINE/DIDZ/ANGEL/EIJII?!!! (langya, ang dami kong pangalan.)
eto, busy sa school..plates plates plates.
eto, inlab parin kay SungMin..palala na nang palala. (will elaborate later)
eto, naga-apply sa UP AME...keke. scary.
eto, namumulubi.
eto...buhay parin. tsk. (mahaba-habang entry ititch...)

oo! todo SungMin parin...i lurve him more than ever <3 pramis, malabo na ako. kekeke. kapag nagkaron ng girlfriend 'tong si oppa, guguho ang mundo ko...kekeke. at alam naman natin kung ano ang nangyayari kapag gumuguho ang mundo ko.
we've been there. we've seen that. we dun wanna go baaaack.
actually~! salamat sa SJPhilippines.tk nakahanap ako ng way para panoorin yung ChunJi radio nya!!! LIVE!!! XDDD WAAAHHHHHH...i ♥ teh INTARWEBS..so..yun, medyo nakakaubos ng oras, kekeke. pero still, i looooove him so. it's more than just a fandom. :[ im such a loser. im in love with a pop idol...IM A LOSER!!! XDDD putek.
but he's so adooooraaaable...

kekeke. UP AME...the application scares me. XD buti na lang maraming mababait na peoples :3 (kung may AME people, co-apps and members na maligaw sa blog ko, HELLO PO~ <3) kekeke.
umm...hi, kuya "buddy". :D gudlak na lang satin. lol.

ay...i miss a lot of people. :[ mmmm...marami akong mga hinahanap-hanap...
Kaye: uu nga. may utang tayong cake sa isa't isa....kekeke.

Lishey: i miss you too, lovey...sorry hindi na ko nakakadalaw..super busy kasi eh..pramis dadalaw ako kapag may oras.. = 3 = alabshuuuuu <333

Nikshae: BRUJA. hindi ka nagte-text, hindi ka tumatawag, hindi mo sinasagot tawag ko, at huling beses na kinausap mo ako ay para magpasabi sa mom mo na kailangan nyo magupsap?! i smell something FISHY...and it's NOT DongHae. nyuuurrrr....impakta ka talaga, miss na kitaaaa. anu nangyari sayuuuu...takte, magsesend nga ng note sa DA, wala namang laman. impaktaaaaaa.

Ma'am Rox: maaaaaaaam rooooooox..waaah..may utang pa ko senyo na drawing..huhuhu..sorry poooo > x <;; someday po, maam, pramis. bago mag-2008..kekeke. sorry po!

kekeke..may sasabihin pa ba ako? magpapaulan na lang ako ng SungMin-ness...gusto ko sana maglagay ng drawings kaya lang...may mailalagay ba ako?! kekekeke. di bale, kapag nakapag-drawing at nakapag-scan na ako, maglalagay rin ako dito...kahit nasa DA ko na, ita-thumb ko parin dito. para maging makulay kahit papaano ang aking malungkot at madilim na blog. *boba kasi sa CSS ehh.*.

SUNGMIN AND FOOD...

(kunyari KALABASA si RyeoWook...anu kaya lasa nun..YAAAAK. xet.)

(HOLY KAMOTE. hanapin nyo ang kamay ni RyeoWook...BAKIT YAN NANDYAN?! BAKEEET?! BITAWAN MO SI SUNGMIN!!! XDDD takteng kamay yan..) anyway...

SUNGMIN BEING EMO...

(but WHYYY does it make me smile?!)

(aaaawww...gusto kong burahin yung kung ano mang nakasulat..tssss. anu yun? EUDIPOA?! wth...*stabstab*)

PRINCESS SUNGMIN...

(uhh...promotional pic to para sa movie nila *which will come out in about a week, btw. WAH..i wanna be in KOREA..* oh my gulay...sweetie, anung ginawa nila sayo? you're all pink and fluffy...wth?! pero cute yung SungMin doll..Dream of Doll ba yan? iwantit..iwantit...iwantHIM.)

<3...

i love this pic of him :3 see, he's dreaming..about ME. lol, what?! kekeke. waaaahh...sweet smile makes my heart melt...oppaaaaa saranghaaaeeee <3 kyoptaaaaaa XDDD kekekeke.

my heart moves my hands

these're drawings i did over the past few days, whenever i think of the things i've been going through..(read my previous entry..) and..nah, nevermind..i wont go into much details anymore, i'll just let the pictures do the talking..
(you can click the thumb for a bigger image)


to all the people i miss...
♥♥♥

to the ones who gave me light...
♥♥♥

to the ones i share the same skies with...
♥♥♥

and to everything i regret not having payed enough attention to..

oh..and to change the mood a bit, one of the earlier pieces of this (yet to be named) series:

(this was made for some sort of campaign going around DA, though i've yet to post it there)

*please take note, i know this character looks somewhat like the ones on Azuzephre.net but i swear, i've been drawing and developing the character before i discovered Azu-sama's works...though i must admit, i get a lot of inspiration from him...*

dedicated to Kaye, Lishey. Nixxie, UPIS, and everything else i hold dear...
langya, ang emo ko ngayun ah...no sungmin pics for today, but i'll post some up soon! XDDD

manong, candy?

it's funny, watching how people react when you try being nice to them..hehe..
weeee~ happy happy day today~ XD
ukie~ so...anu ang nangyari...
mga 10:20, pumunta kami ni Nixxie sa SM North...trip lang~ tapos pumunta kami sa Trinoma..kase mas malamig dun..hehe..tsaka mas konti ang tao..nag-ikot ikot kami, naligaw, nag-TimeZone, etc. etc...tapos nung lunch, sa Jollibee kami kumain..hehe, aliw, may sofa sa jollibee sa trinoma..haha. ayun...nagda-"drugs" nga kami habang lunch eh (take note: "drugs" meaning korean music..hehe...yun ang tawag namin dun eh) tapos medyo tinititigan kami ng mga tao kase may sarili kaming music..XD
ayun..dun nagsimula ang kalokohan ng candy...
dinare ko si Nix na alukin ng candy yung crew ng jollibee..kaya lang ndi tinanggap..andami naming inaluk!! (mas marami ako...4 lang ata tinanong ni nicole eh, naka 8 ata ako) crew, cashier, guard, etc...trip lang...at the end of the day, yung babae lang sa counter sa McDo sa SM North ang kumuha ng candy...tatlo pa nga kinuha nya eh!! XD

saya...hehe..<3>NAGPABUTAS NG TENGA...hehe..la lang..ndi naman pala ganun ka-sakit...nakakagulat lang..hehe..kaya lang, mahal!! huhuhu...wala na kong pera..nagpa-picture rin pala kami~ ayun..yung nasa taas..pichur namin..heehee.
tapos nanuod kami ng Shrek the Third...aliw..XDDD
natawa kaming tatlo nung ginawa ni Puss in Boots yung googly eyes...ang lakas nung pagkakasabi naming tatlo ng "HeeChul!!!!" XDDD addicted fangirls amfufu! hehe...di bale, masaya naman eh. ba't ba.

andami rin naming kalokohan dun sa Mitsubishi (kung san kami nagpapicture) basta...buti nga hindi kita sa picture yung mga tenga namin na namumula eh! XD

wah..aliw..syet, mamimiss ko yung mga kalokohan naming ganito....
MASAYA MAGING FANGIRL.
lovey lovey lovey...i'm so happy lately...hehe..i dont know how long this will last, i dont even know if i want it to last long or not...all i know is that i dont remember ever being happier than how i am now...and that sooner or later, i'd most likely get hurt again...tssss....i dont want to worry about that at the moment...i wanna savour the love~ even though it's one sided...

dont get me wrong, i dunno what i'd give up for this not to be one-sided, but for the time being, im contented with my current situation...the smiling, and the dreaming...and the memories Rin, Nix and I share as fangirls..hehe..
XD i sound so dramatic, it's creeping me out...hahahaha.

wah...pino-problema ko ngayun 'tong DVD na bigay ni Nix eh..huhuhu...ayaw magplay ng mga SuJu videos..buti na lang madadala ko yung iba sa mp3 player ko...
thanks anyway Nixxie <3>

i feel so happy...

♥ so happy ♥

the fangirl returns..updates!

okay, get ready for a rather looooong entry...
i think i can break it down to 4 main points..

• first off, i kinda lost my password weeks ago, which is why i havent posted since then...
i just got it back a while ago.

• next...my pc has been really bitchy lately...sometimes it's okay for a while but then starts acting up again, usually after someone plays a couple rounds of Diablo...litse ka. i'll get it reformatted when my brother's not busy anymore...

• my parents want to go to Bicol...*sigh* at the start of the summer vacation, i really, really wanted to go...but now that i only have a few weeks left, i dont want to waste any of it there....i want to spend my summer in front of my pc, dammit!!! gaaaaah...apparently, we'll leave on thursday..or friday...and come back at the end of the month...hello? like..wtf, WHAT ABOUT TEH INTERWEBS?! I NEED TEH INTERWEBS!!!

• im an obsessed fangirl...and it's starting to reach dangerous stage...

♥ okay. if nothing of the above interests you, you can stop reading now, because i'll just be explaining the points from this point on, mmkay? ♥

right. where were we?
ah yes...the password thing...the whole google account thing kinda annoys me...it makes things so damn complicated...yeech. need i say more?
ugh..my pc!!!! darn it. every other night, someone nags me to go to sleep so he can use my computer. i swear, sometimes my pc runs so smoothly and then, after he uses it, it starts acting up again!! MY COMPUTER IS NOT FOR GAMING. the computers in this house have certain purposes. my mom's laptop is mostly for her work stuff. my brother's pc is for his downloads and games. and MY PC IS FOR EDITING. you hear me?! i dont even know why all those games are installed here...takte talaga. imagine being told "dali na, matulog ka na, para makapaglaro ako!" by someone you're not even related to.
do0d, sorry a, pero nakakainis talaga eh. you can stay in the house as long as you like, sige, ayus lang, im kinda used to having you around the house anyway. BUT DRIVING ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE IS A TICKET TO HELL. you're lucky my parents and brothers like you.

okay..that was really mean... > . >
really really mean...sorry..but..yeah. kailangan maglabas ng galit somewhere...
half of me wishes he'd read this..the other half wishes he'd just get off my case. lol.

and about that vacation thing...i know my dad really wants to go home. i know my mom really wants to go to the beach and i understand that...im not saying i dont want to go...im just saying i wont like it.
T . T it's not that difficult to understand, isnt it? mid june, i start going to college...and my friends will be in LB and all over the place and we'd all be out of contact and busy with schoolwork and all that...it's going to be so different...being underneath my bed and in front of my pc is the situation i cling on to so that i feel as if everything is going to be okay and normal and not different...i know im going to have to accept the changes sooner or later but..it's my comfort zone...Nixxie and Rin-chan and i were planning on a part 2 as well...but now that i have to leave for a week, that's gonna be kinda difficult...especially because after summer vacation, Rin will be focusing on her studies and Nix will be in LB...even Kaye will be in LB!! and im going to be all sad and busy here at home...and..and..i need my SungMin oppa!!! *cries* (omg that was...wrong....XD)
im not really in the mood to explain all that....

finally...i'm a fangirl...i've been like this for..probably about a month now...it's..wonderful...lol...
i'm...uhh...dare i say it? in love?! LOL. it's really scaring me though..like, really really scary...D: i'm always thinking about HIM...it's always HIM in my head...none of his bandmates, not even anyone from the other band, just HIM...
SungMinnie oppa~
this whole fangirl thing really hit me hard...but i dont think i've ever been happier...it feels so nice to daydream about the day we'll meet...but then..there's that lingering thought at the back of my head nagging me that it's never going to happen....i'd like to tell myself that "it might." but we all know it's impossible..it's NOT near impossible...IT IS impossible...so why do i even get my hopes up? because it feels great, i guess...even though i dont drink alcohol, i think this fandom is like getting drunk...you feel so light and all that, like you're on top of the world...but you start throwing up and you fall unconscious and your head hurts like hell...then you have to move on....
so tell me this, why on earth am i putting myself through this knowing that i'll just throw it all way eventually?
why? and dont tell me that it's because love just really is like that, because this is different. I'm in love with a korean popstar?! and so are thousands of other asian girls..possibly even non-asian girls..i dont care why they're putting themselves up to this slow torture, but why am I doing it? arent i supposed to be smarter than this?
am i that desperate about distracting myself from the world that im willing to put myself through something that'll bring me nothing in the end?
and while im typing this, i'm listening to his voice singing...laugh all you want, but it melts my heart...it does.
(Someone Special - SungMin, Lina, Dana)

what on earth is wrong with me...

friday the thirteenth ..my lovely little gummi bear ♥

- continued -

yaaaay~ before i left school to go to PNB, my lovey lishie gave me a gift~

there was a mixCD (parang mixtape pero cd...hahaha) and i wuv iiiit~
You've Got a Friend, sandalan, now that i've found you, when you say nothing at all, there you'll be, i'll be there for you, hold on, ikot, i will be there, my valentine, more to life, be with you, officially missing you, babay na, dancing in the moonlight
...♥ songs that mean stuff..ahehe..kung mahirap raw kasi sabihin, isulat, o ipakita, daanin nalang sa kanta.

o w o my favourites are Babay Na (rivermaya), Hold On (Good Charlotte), and I'll Be There for You (Rembrandts - Friends OST) ♥

o w o all the titles were hand written on brown paper (which to the two of us, mean a LOT) and the cover was a letter~ ♥♥♥

there was also a CD of disney's Tigger Movie and packs of sweets~ (strawberry cream gummi and gummi bears) ♥♥♥

LABSHIE~ i made something for you that same night, while listening to the CD~
kaya lang sabi mo ayaw mong makita yung picture, surprise na lang pagnagkita na uli tayo (thursday pa? ang tagaaaaal...)

para sa ibang tao~ ito yung regalo ko >> [rainbows]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH~ <3

o x o i'm going to miss you. so much.
so much.