over

(click pic for larger image)

i wanted to make an entry about it just for the heck of it.
i think it has yet to really sink in on me..im still not sure about how i feel...and i havent cried yet, so...

i dunno, really...

April 17, 2007...
i hope to never forget that day.

friday the thirteenth ..my lovely little gummi bear ♥

- continued -

yaaaay~ before i left school to go to PNB, my lovey lishie gave me a gift~

there was a mixCD (parang mixtape pero cd...hahaha) and i wuv iiiit~
You've Got a Friend, sandalan, now that i've found you, when you say nothing at all, there you'll be, i'll be there for you, hold on, ikot, i will be there, my valentine, more to life, be with you, officially missing you, babay na, dancing in the moonlight
...♥ songs that mean stuff..ahehe..kung mahirap raw kasi sabihin, isulat, o ipakita, daanin nalang sa kanta.

o w o my favourites are Babay Na (rivermaya), Hold On (Good Charlotte), and I'll Be There for You (Rembrandts - Friends OST) ♥

o w o all the titles were hand written on brown paper (which to the two of us, mean a LOT) and the cover was a letter~ ♥♥♥

there was also a CD of disney's Tigger Movie and packs of sweets~ (strawberry cream gummi and gummi bears) ♥♥♥

LABSHIE~ i made something for you that same night, while listening to the CD~
kaya lang sabi mo ayaw mong makita yung picture, surprise na lang pagnagkita na uli tayo (thursday pa? ang tagaaaaal...)

para sa ibang tao~ ito yung regalo ko >> [rainbows]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH~ <3

o x o i'm going to miss you. so much.
so much.

friday the thirteenth ..i lied to a priest. haha

it was a horrible day. o x o

the practice
the texting
the heels
the transcripts
the paying
the line
the walking
the running
the getting lost in ateneo wtf.
the 4000 pesos

horrible. i have never gone through so much effort and spended as much money for something I WANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH.

i confirmed my slot in ateneo, just in case i dont pass the talent test in UPCFA diliman...i even had to write a "letter of non-withdrawal" to the head, saying "i have no intention of withdrawing my confirmation" when the truth is, i have every intention of NOT GOING THERE.

waaahh...this is it! the effects! the magnitude of my laziness during high school!! i mean, WTH, i managed to pass into UP Baguio with such horrible grades (average of 2.5 for 3 years in hs?!) if i had focused more on my studies maybe i could've managed to get into Diliman and not have to worry like this!!! waaaaaahhhh!!!

o x o the day wasnt all that bad though..
- to be continued.. -

scratch that..

"Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act, falls the shadow."

okay, okay...it was really really REALLY mean of me to write that...i was so frustrated last night when i wrote that previous entry..im normally not one to rant like that..

so there..btw, after a cold bath to cool my head down, i thought about and, the truth is, my little brother is NOT the person i hate the most in the world. he isnt.

"Between the desire and the spasm, between the potency and the existence, between the essence and the descent, falls the shadow. This is the way the world ends." - T.S. Elliot

okay, i know it's weird that i made entries two days in a row, but i sort of felt like taking back what i said about my little bro.. yun.

im running out of Criminal Minds episodes to watch...GAAAHH!! hanggang episode 12 lang yung season two ko!!! @ x @
Matthew love~ <3 (LOL. i scare myself. teehee. phr33ky)

hatred, and then some

TAKTE!!!! BWISIT TALAGA AMPUCHA. o x o

yes, i know its mean. like...really mean..pero ganyan talaga pumapasok sa isip ko tuwing naiinis ako sa kanya eh. (twice a day, five days a week.)
okay, so hindi naman ako laging galit sa kanya, madalas lang. paminsan-minsan naman tolerable cya...

o x o

..what, you were expecting me to say i like him sometimes?! HELL NO. i hate his guts. we had another fight earlier today (twice, as usual.) the first one was during lunch..after which i went into my room..i heard him outside beating up his bobodoll* while i poured my anger into that drawing you see above..heh, at least mas productive ako kesa sa kanya. useless piece of shit.

i really cant think of ONE THING he has done for me to be able to say he's not a complete pain. there're probably worse people out there but i dont really care. even the increasing number of idiots born every minute doesnt take away the fact that my little brother is a total pain..
Confucious once said "before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
if it means taking revenge on my brother, then it's a journey im willing to die for.

---
enough about little demon-boys.
grad practice kanina..mga past 8pm pumunta kami ng parents ko sa SM para bumili ng shoes..:\ i dont really think pumps yung nabili ko but what the hell, they do look decent enough. may magagawa pa ba sila? eh meron na. i got a pair of mary janes, with heels a little over an inch high. pretty comfy considering im the rubber-shoes type of person.

still drawing a lot..sa 25 na pala ang talent test...i managed to convince my parents that UP Baguio can be another option in case i dont pass the talent test in UPCFA Diliman (i for one have little confidence in my skills..tsss.) deadline na kasi ng confirmation sa Ateneo this friday..tapos may 4000 pa na fee..my gawd. hindi na ko aabot sa UST, deadline na kanina para sa course na gusto ko eh..not really that keen on taking Interior Design, mas gusto ko ang Painting.. teehee.
anyway..yun. wala lang.

i'm alive

..just barely.
i've been living off iced tea, sweets, ink, internet and DVDs...LOL.

still in my Criminal Minds addiction..with a side of Bleach and Honey & Clover...did you know that watching Criminal Minds non-stop all by itself makes me write straight english (even in chat) and gives me an artblock? hehe..so, yeah, i had to get into anime just so i could draw again. works, too.

i havent updated any sense into this blog in AGES...and now i dont even know what to say...

okay, so first, i wanna rant about TP..yes, my beloved TalkPinoy family..

issue after issue, war after war, chaos all over


> x > you'd think because they're just people i met online i really shouldnt care much about their problems but NO. i care about them..a lot. a hell of A LOT. i cant explain much here (for numerous reasons) but things have been going haywire in the chatroom..i guess thats why the rooms PwnageGang, Nocturnalia and (my own room) fallingfeathers have been what ate Nikka refers to as "sanctuaries"..where people go and complain about TP..im happy im on neutral grounds..ahehe..

im pretty sure everyone else in TP is tired about these issues...

moving on...
i still dont think im ready to talk about "THE BIG MOVE" if you know what i mean..i guess i still have separation issues...and there're only a handful of people i'm willing to talk to about it...(mainly Labshie, my shrinkie-doggie, nixx and kuya Deybid(i think))..so there.

i've been drawing a lot lately too...i guess that's a good thing...with the talent test coming up and all..*sigh* i have to get my portfolio ready...

i wonder how i'll react when i dont pass...im not too confident about it but im betting i'll be devastated if i dont pass...*sigh*